feeling a bit… “the butterfly in stomache” feeling.

In just the little things that make it all worthwhile. on June 3, 2010 at 7:45 pm

(and no, i don’t feel weird because i took the malaria pills. lol.)

So yesterday, I finally took the malaria pills. For those of you who dont’ know, there are two kinds of malaria pills, daily and weekly ones. The weekly ones, you have more of a chance of experiencing side effects such as headaches, nausea, and you might hallucinate lol. I was honestly so scared that I would hallucinate, but actually, i didn’t–thank the lord–(hopefully i don’t today or tomorrow lol).

anyhow, i feel a bit… uneasy for some reason. Not that its a bad thing, just i feel… i don’t know. It’s finally hitting me. I’m going to Bangladesh. I’M GOING TO BANGLADESH!!! I”M GOING TO BANGLADESH!!!!!!!!!! and for 7 weeks. I think it’s finally hitting me now. After taking all those shots, and all the medication, it’s becoming real. I am so… excited. Maybe that’s why i feel a little bit off, cuz of my excitement. I dont’ know what awaits me there, in Bangladesh, but whatever it is, i know i will be able to conquer it. It’s hard for me to describe exactly how i feel. I want to go to the villages, i don’t want to live in the hotel. I want to live with the farmers. I want to do what they do. I want to wake up at 5:30am in the morning and do daily chores on the farm. I want the full on experience– afterall, what’s the point of me going, if all im going to do is stay in a fivestar hotel, and do nothing but shop? not much of a cultural experience, is it?

This, thinking about Bangladesh, has made me think about this past year a lot actually. Its been a month since school (schulich) has been over. And i’m… the only feeling to describe how i feel about Schulich and this year is gratefulness. I am grateful to have been able to gone to Harvard to compete. I am grateful for the mentors and friends I have made this year. I am also glad about deciding not to drop out of schulich. After all, I must know the rules, in order to break them, if you catch my drift :P. And who said the ride was going to be easy right? As a matter of fact, it’s going to be hard as it can ever be, but the things that are hard to get in life, are the things worth fighting for, and i believe that with 150% of my heart. I am a different person, after this year at Schulich. People ask me “Bonnie, what are you going to specialize in?” and my response a lot of times is “i dont’ know, maybe nothing” . and the look i get 80% of the times, is a look of pity. But you know what, they don’t know that, i am actually the one pitying them. Because i have the courage to experiment, and i am confident in myself enough to know that, it doesn’t matter what i specialize in, because i KNOW i will succeed.

So what do i have to say to all of you second year, and as a matter of fact, any year, schulich student. Go with your heart. Don’t give up, and do what you’re truly passionate about.


  1. This is amazing bonnie! Things we all too easily forget 🙂
    Also, how sure are you that you didn’t hallucinate? What if you did but didn’t know you were? :p

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