bonnieylau

feeling a bit… “the butterfly in stomache” feeling.

In just the little things that make it all worthwhile. on June 3, 2010 at 7:45 pm

(and no, i don’t feel weird because i took the malaria pills. lol.)

So yesterday, I finally took the malaria pills. For those of you who dont’ know, there are two kinds of malaria pills, daily and weekly ones. The weekly ones, you have more of a chance of experiencing side effects such as headaches, nausea, and you might hallucinate lol. I was honestly so scared that I would hallucinate, but actually, i didn’t–thank the lord–(hopefully i don’t today or tomorrow lol).

anyhow, i feel a bit… uneasy for some reason. Not that its a bad thing, just i feel… i don’t know. It’s finally hitting me. I’m going to Bangladesh. I’M GOING TO BANGLADESH!!! I”M GOING TO BANGLADESH!!!!!!!!!! and for 7 weeks. I think it’s finally hitting me now. After taking all those shots, and all the medication, it’s becoming real. I am so… excited. Maybe that’s why i feel a little bit off, cuz of my excitement. I dont’ know what awaits me there, in Bangladesh, but whatever it is, i know i will be able to conquer it. It’s hard for me to describe exactly how i feel. I want to go to the villages, i don’t want to live in the hotel. I want to live with the farmers. I want to do what they do. I want to wake up at 5:30am in the morning and do daily chores on the farm. I want the full on experience– afterall, what’s the point of me going, if all im going to do is stay in a fivestar hotel, and do nothing but shop? not much of a cultural experience, is it?

This, thinking about Bangladesh, has made me think about this past year a lot actually. Its been a month since school (schulich) has been over. And i’m… the only feeling to describe how i feel about Schulich and this year is gratefulness. I am grateful to have been able to gone to Harvard to compete. I am grateful for the mentors and friends I have made this year. I am also glad about deciding not to drop out of schulich. After all, I must know the rules, in order to break them, if you catch my drift :P. And who said the ride was going to be easy right? As a matter of fact, it’s going to be hard as it can ever be, but the things that are hard to get in life, are the things worth fighting for, and i believe that with 150% of my heart. I am a different person, after this year at Schulich. People ask me “Bonnie, what are you going to specialize in?” and my response a lot of times is “i dont’ know, maybe nothing” . and the look i get 80% of the times, is a look of pity. But you know what, they don’t know that, i am actually the one pitying them. Because i have the courage to experiment, and i am confident in myself enough to know that, it doesn’t matter what i specialize in, because i KNOW i will succeed.

So what do i have to say to all of you second year, and as a matter of fact, any year, schulich student. Go with your heart. Don’t give up, and do what you’re truly passionate about.

-bonbon

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  1. This is amazing bonnie! Things we all too easily forget 🙂
    Also, how sure are you that you didn’t hallucinate? What if you did but didn’t know you were? :p

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